Message from the Vice President
Okay, so it’s summer time again, and while not as hot as last summer, when the drought was so heavy that UTSA lay under the horrendous heat like coal that has been buried for millions of years, under thousands of pounds of pressure creating diamonds that glisten like ice in the glass of sweet tea that sits sweating on the picnic table, it’s still hot. This means that it’s too hot to think sensible thoughts or to write inspiring or even mildly interesting essays. Thus, it must be time for the now 2nd annual report on the winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC).
For those of you who don’t remember last year’s fun, the BLFC is a contest in ‘honor’ of Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who wrote the sentence Snoopy uses to start his novel – “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents – except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
The rules of the contest are simple. Write one bad opening sentence of an imaginary novel. It can be any length, but they suggest not more that 50-60 words.
Even though summers aren’t all that quiet anymore, the pace is different from the rest of the year and so a little light reading is in order. Here are a few of my favorites from this year’s contest and here is the website http://www.bulwer-lytton.com, in case this selection just isn’t enough.
Enjoy,
Gage
Runner –Up – Detective
As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead.”
Winner – Purple Prose
The dark, drafty old house was lopsided and decrepit, leaning in on itself, the way an aging possum carrying a very heavy, overcooked drumstick in his mouth might list to one side if he were also favoring a torn Achilles tendon, assuming possums have them.
Runner-Up – Historical Fiction
The band of pre-humans departed the cave in search of solace from the omnipresent dangers found there knowing that it meant the survival of their kind, though they probably didn’t understand it intellectually since their brains were so small and undeveloped but fundamentally they understood that they didn’t like the big animals that ate them.
Dishonorable Mention – Vile Puns
Wearing his new slacks from L.L. Bean and entering the pen to feed his three big dogs their usual three cans of dog food, some of which ended up on his new pants, Kevin then left the house to attend a revival screening of ‘Serpico’ with Alpo chinos.
Dishonorable Mention – Miscellaneous
As the under-appreciated autumn evening faded into yet another soft black velvet fall night, all creatures large and small had settled in except for one, Loupy, the Schipperke, whose job was to keep Anatoly, the night watchman, informed of all things pertaining to the property with her signature uninterrupted warning barks which at this very moment would not subside until her master explained, "We don't know anyone named Timmy and we don't have a well."
The life-saving salve had not arrived to help Dr. Sybil Carter dress the mutant killer bee wounds because landslides blocked roads, the rivers were jammed by earthquake debris, and even the jungle foot paths were clogged with dead bees and their victims, yet without the medicinal unguent, many more would die, so reluctantly giving in to her promise never again to speak to her aviator ex-boyfriend, she picked up the radio and begged him to fly in the ointment.
Welcome New Staff to Student Affairs
Fred Hample announces that Thomas Hawthorne has been hired in the Registrar’s Office as a full-time Veterans Benefits assistant for the downtown campus in response to our increase in veteran student enrollments. Tom returns to UTSA after working for the Registrar’s Office and Teacher Certification in the late 70’s/early 80’s…welcome back!!
Brian Jantz - administrative associate II, is new to the Inclusion & Community Engagement Center. Brian Jantz earned a Bachelor of Science Degree in Interdisciplinary Studies from Mississippi State University in 1998. After graduating, he moved to Lubbock, TX, where he spent the next four years before moving to San Antonio in 2002. Brian is currently working on his Master of Arts Degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing.
Announcements/Departmental Events
July 16 event showcase to spotlight University Center Ballroom facility
Jared Jones, Assistant Director of Marketing and Communications, University Center, 07/5/2010
The UTSA Office of Events Management and Conference Services (EMCS) will host the UTSA Event Showcase from 2 to 4 p.m., Friday, July 16, in the University Center Ballroom (1.104) on the Main Campus. The showcase is open to any UTSA faculty or staff members who participate in event planning. The showcase will offer information on food, decor and planning resources available on the Main Campus for meetings and special events -- including weddings.
“We have many confirmed event-related service providers who will be taking part in the showcase including...
For the full article, visit: URL
PDF to print and postLeadership UTSA congratulates first class, welcomes 2010–2011 participants
Rebecca Luther, Communications Coordinator, Office of the Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs, 07/08/2010
Cultivating leaders from within the university is the aim of a new program, Leadership UTSA, which recently announced its cohort of participants for the upcoming academic year. The program was developed in 2009 by John Frederick, provost and vice president for academic affairs, and Gage Paine, vice president for student affairs.
"As administrators, we talk about how everyone at UTSA can play a role in our drive to become a premier research university," said Frederick. "The idea for Leadership UTSA originated...
For the full article, visit: URL
Athletics Staff Members Recognized
Cobb named 2010-11 CABMA President
Courtesy: UTSA Athletics, 07/12/2010
CLEVELAND — The members of the College Athletic Business Management Association (CABMA) have selected Ross Cobb, UTSA senior associate athletics director/business and facilities, to serve as its President for 2010-11.
“I want to thank past President Frank Hardymon for his commitment and leadership over the past year and throughout his tenure on the Executive Committee. CABMA has grown in several key areas thanks to Hardymon’s contributions,” Cobb said. “I also want to thank the rest of the 2009-10 Executive Committee and the CABMA sponsors and partners for their support and contributions throughout the past year. I look forward to serving as the Association’s President and helping plan the 61st Annual Convention in 2011.”
Cobb is in his ninth year at UTSA and his 15th overall in college athletics. He came to UTSA from Georgia Southern University where he served as the Assistant Athletics Director for Business. Prior to Georgia Southern, he served for five years as the Sports & Information Systems Controller for The Landings Club, Inc., a private golf club located in Savannah, Ga. He also served in a variety of athletics administration roles at Northwestern State from 1993-97. Cobb has a bachelor’s degree in finance and a master’s degree in business administration, both from Georgia Southern.
For the full article, visit: URL
Sarra honored by NCAA Fellows Program
Courtesy: UTSA Athletics, 07/15/2010
INDIANAPOLIS — UTSA Deputy Director of Athletics Jim Sarra was one of 11 senior athletics administrators to recently graduate from the NCAA Fellows Program, which is designed to address the low number of minorities and women in athletics administration.
Sarra is in his fifth year at UTSA. Prior to his current position, he served as Associate Athletics Director for External Operations from 2007-09, Associate Athletics Director for Administration from 2006-07 and Assistant Athletics Director for Compliance from 2005-06.
Sarra came to UTSA from the University of Maryland where he was a Senior Associate Athletics Director for Compliance and Student Services. Sarra was responsible for the day-to-day operations of the compliance office as well as supervision of the men’s golf program.
Prior to Maryland, he served in many different administrative roles at Washington State, Portland State, TCU, Ball State, Northwestern and St. Bonaventure.
Sarra earned a bachelor’s degree in elementary education and master’s degree in advanced teacher education from St. Bonaventure in 1989 and 1990, respectively. He also earned a master’s degree in sports management from Western Illinois in 1993.
For the full article, visit: URL
UTSA football gets thumbs-up from celebs at golf tourney
Credit: David Flores / Kens5.com, 07/13/2010
Although he didn’t play for UTSA coach Larry Coker at Miami, former Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Russell Maryland didn’t hesitate when Coker asked him to be a celebrity guest at his second annual golf tournament in San Antonio this summer.
Maryland starred at Miami from 1987-90, playing under Jimmy Johnson and Dennis Erickson before getting selected by the Dallas Cowboys with the No. 1 overall pick in the 1991 NFL draft.
When Coker was promoted to head coach at Miami in 2001, one of his top priorities was making former Hurricanes players feel welcome when they returned to visit.
“I was impressed with Coach Coker,” Maryland said. “Not only in the way he dealt with players and coaches, but with how he treated the alumni. He let us speak to the players about what it means to be a Hurricane. He gave us carte blanche and supported us. This is kind of an appreciation to Coach Coker. I’m here to support Coach Coker now.”
For the full article, visit: URL
UTSA, Virginia agree to home-and-home series
06/30/2010
UTSA officials announced Wednesday that they have agreed to a home-and-home series with Virginia. The Roadrunners will face the Atlantic Coast Conference member Cavaliers on Nov. 2, 2013, in Charlottesville, Va., and on Nov. 8, 2014, at the Alamodome. The department also released that the 2013 home game with Houston has been moved back a week to Sept. 28.
“We’re continuing to do an outstanding job of scheduling quality future opponents,” head coach Larry Coker said...
For the full article, visit: URL
Student Health Services calls for interview volunteers for HIV documentary
07/1/2010
To raise awareness among Hispanic people ages 18 to 25, UTSA Student Health Services is seeking participants for a documentary film on the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the Hispanic community. The producers of the video project are looking for people willing to discuss in on-camera interviews how HIV/AIDS has affected their lives.
“Student Health Services staff decided a video could be an excellent way to create awareness of the virus that is silently affecting thousands every day...
For the full article, visit: URL
Four C's
http://excellencethefourcs.blogspot.com/
Exercising your True Colors: A missed opportunity or your chance to make a difference?
Our student employees provide a vital service to the university and our operating areas. They are filled with dreams and aspirations. They are finding out who they are and who they want to become right before our eyes. Some are excited and ready to tackle anything that comes their way, while others are nervous and less confident. They are learning new tasks and developing their skills. They are an extension of who we are as a division and are the face of the future.
What do we know about them? What are they majoring in? What classes are they taking? Are we capitalizing on their strengths and helping them improve their weaknesses? Do we challenge them? Do we provide feedback? Are we missing opportunities to enhance their educational experience or are we purposeful in our attempts to make a difference in their lives?
We all possess the ability to put our True Colors into action. Our dominant characteristics have the capability of influencing our student employees in a very significant way. Once in motion, these actions will trigger reactions in our student employees. These reactions then become a catalyst for their personal growth, development, and self reflection. True Colors can be the spark that ignites their desire to learn, take a leap of faith, accept their defeats and failures, start something and finish it, define success in their own terms.
Blues might consider sharing a story about their first job with one of their student employees or walking to an open house together. Golds might explain the policy behind a process or demonstrate how they want a project completed. Greens might discuss the mission of our division or the latest theories in student development. Oranges might consider they try something adventurous like outdoor pursuits or study abroad.
Will you let another opportunity pass you by or will you be steadfast in your efforts to connect with our student employees and make a difference in their lives? True Colors…the choice is yours.
VPSA@utsa.edu
Photo Galleries
Orientation Leaders Socio Drama - July 6, 2010
Orientation Family Program - June 6, 2010
Athletics
UTSA Athletics reaches agreement with Nelligan Sports Marketing
Rogers to compete in The Open Champions Challenge on Wednesday
UTSA Camp Information
All Sport Schedule - Area Events
Business Procedures Tips
Information about how to process moving expenses reimbursements can be found on the Payroll website: www.utsa/edu/payroll/relocation.html
Have a Business Procedures Tip to share? Please send it to Bob Miller.
For previous Business Procedures Tips, please visit the archive.
Wellness Tips
The five components of fitness are Cardiovascular Endurance, Muscular Strength, Muscular Endurance, Body Composition and Flexibility. All of the elements will naturally decline with age except for flexibility. HOWEVER, there are important steps you can take to combat this natural decline because it is important to maintain your heart health and muscle tone as you get older to prevent things such as heart conditions and falls that can lead to hip fracture. Here is one tip to help maintain your muscular and cardiovascular endurance:
Build endurance and strength with exercise. Regular aerobic exercise is a "must-do" for anyone committed to slowing the aging process, agree experts. Hundreds of studies show that exercise combats the loss of stamina, muscle strength, balance, and bone density that increases with age. The American Heart Association advises doing a single set of eight to 15 repetitions, using eight to 10 exercises, two to three times a week for a comprehensive strength-building program. If you are not a beginner, that's about a 10-minute routine.
Heather Stark
Assistant Director of Fitness & Wellness
Campus Recreation
heather.stark@utsa.edu
Thank You Rowdy
Thank You Rowdy has a special mission in Student Affairs - to travel across UTSA recognizing the good work of staff members. Within the Division of Student Affairs, Thank You Rowdy is presented from one Student Affairs staff member to another in recognition and appreciation of work done well - taking extra assignments to provide support, offering unsolicited assistance, or completing tasks in a unique way. Whatever the situation, contributions like this are made every day and Thank You Rowdy helps us recognize them.
Thank you Rowdy reflects UTSA's spirit of community and reminds us to remember it takes everyone to make UTSA a great place to work and to learn.
- Gage Paine
Thank You Rowdy is presently visiting with
Dr. Beth Wichman
See past Thank You Rowdy Recipients
To: Dr. Beth Wichman, Office of Student Health Services
From: Shirley Pipes, Office of Student Services
Dr. Beth Wichman,
It is with great pleasure that I pass “Thank You, Rowdy” on to you. You work quietly behind the scenes, always ready and willing to serve our students on a daily basis. You are a very caring and compassionate person and I don’t think we tell you often enough how much you are appreciated and how much the work you do means to all of us. You are a very vital part of the UTSA community.
Thank you for all you do,
Shirley
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Shirley surprises Dr. BethWichman |
Rowdy passed on to Dr. Wichman |
Kudos
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Please submit all newsletter entries by 5:00 pm, Tuesday, July 27, 2010, to
VPSAmedia@utsa.edu